i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
