You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
