brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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