i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
