i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
