I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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