I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
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I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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