All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
