this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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