I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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