I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
