Have you finally orgasmed yet?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Too much gin, very little bucket
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
