I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
