were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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