I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize