She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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