Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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