im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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