i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
