he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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