Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
