the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Are my feet made of real feet?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize