what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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