Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
