Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
