You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
