if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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