I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize