First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
