Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
