You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
