I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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