my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
