Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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