I love black thongs
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
