Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i came on her dog
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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