i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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