you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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