Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
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there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!