dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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