dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
