New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
