in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
