Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
