Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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