Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
