ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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