you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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