Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
