new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
