love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
