Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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