"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
