Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
