I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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