Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
