Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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