she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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