she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
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did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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