im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
