you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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