btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
