the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
