i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Your dad touched me again.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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