Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
