Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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