He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
