i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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