my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
