I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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