True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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