I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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