i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
