party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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