better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
