I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
